Long Distance Relationship

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[Denmark Pilongo]

Denmark Pilongo
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[ANC, the News Channel of ABS-CBN, partners with The American Institute.]

ANC, the News Channel of ABS-CBN, partners with The American Institute.  On October 3, 2007, The American Institute became the official consultant for the Philippine Debate Championship which is co-sponsored by ABS-CBN/ANC and Philippine Graphics.  The debate tournament uses the parliamentary debate format, in which two university students compete against two others.  General Manager and English Language Specialist Christopher Delacruz, an Impromptu Speaking Champion in the US and Canada and Finalist in several  parliamentary debate events in the Northwest Public Debate Association has and will be helping the teams to prepare for the nationally televised debates and help lead them to the world championships which will be held in Thailand.  The debates air live on ANC every Wednesday at 8 pm.

[hanzup]

More often than not, the great distance that separates two hearts would bring in tears, loneliness &, yes, even misunderstandings. But on the other hand this very distance would test the true strength of the love that bonds two individuals together.

?Oceans apart, day after day and I slowly go insane, I hear your voice on the line but it doesn?t stop the pain?Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you..?

And so goes a song that speaks so much of the two sides of a long distance relationship. Here enter the good side and negative side of such kind of relationship.

The first positive side is the two individuals getting to know each other on a deeper level. While or if they are physically close to each other, they may often have a date, watching the sunset together or cuddling in a room in their own privacy. They might be seeing each other & feeling each other?s warmth but it doesn?t necessarily mean for them to have a profound understanding for one another. But if they are physically separated by distance, they would be spending much more time communicating, speaking out not only what is in their hearts but also what is in their minds. This will then lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

Secondly, they learn to recall of the precious moments they spent together, eventually appreciating, again in a deeper level, such time.  In turn they will value those memories, together with the person who made these memorable.

Lastly, they learn to trust each other even if one of them is not physically present.  Jealousy is as natural as love but this needs be controlled. As trust has been built between them, replacing the gap that separates them physically, they don?t easily give in to unfounded suspicions.

On the other hand, the cons? side that is, long distance relationship draws both hearts to a extreme loneliness, specially when the world turns around each other when they were still a whisper away. What used to be warm arms that were wrapped around is now a cold breeze that provides no comfort at all. Or that love one used to be there immediately, as fast as a lightning, whenever some unwanted circumstances arise, ready to lend a helping hand or become a shock absorber. With these this distress due to the absence of a love one, one could suffer emotional stress, not to mention the financial burden caused by phone bills or computer rentals.

Going back to the line of the song, it is but natural for us to suffer from the loneliness that would even consume our day to day life when the one whom we share our love becomes separated by miles. But if we are purely committed to each other & the love shared has created respect for our partner, then distance, no matter how great it is, is never a hindrance nor a gap for that love to continuously bloom.

[Lostsoul]

More often than not, the great distance that separates two hearts would bring in tears, loneliness &, yes, even misunderstandings. But on the other hand this very distance would test the true strength of the love that bonds two individuals together.

?Oceans apart, day after day and I slowly go insane, I hear your voice on the line but it doesn?t stop the pain?Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you. Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you..?

And so goes a song that speaks so much of the two sides of a long distance relationship. Here enter the good side and negative side of such kind of relationship.

The first positive side is the two individuals getting to know each other on a deeper level. While or if they are physically close to each other, they may often have a date, watching the sunset together or cuddling in a room in their own privacy. They might be seeing each other & feeling each other?s warmth but it doesn?t necessarily mean for them to have a profound understanding for one another. But if they are physically separated by distance, they would be spending much more time communicating, speaking out not only what is in their hearts but also what is in their minds. This will then lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

Secondly, they learn to recall of the precious moments they spent together, eventually appreciating, again in a deeper level, such time.  In turn they will value those memories, together with the person who made these memorable.

Lastly, they learn to trust each other even if one of them is not physically present.  Jealousy is as natural as love but this needs be controlled. As trust has been built between them, replacing the gap that separates them physically, they don?t easily give in to unfounded suspicions.

On the other hand, the cons? side that is, long distance relationship draws both hearts to a extreme loneliness, specially when the world turns around each other when they were still a whisper away. What used to be warm arms that were wrapped around is now a cold breeze that provides no comfort at all. Or that love one used to be there immediately, as fast as a lightning, whenever some unwanted circumstances arise, ready to lend a helping hand or become a shock absorber. With these this distress due to the absence of a love one, one could suffer emotional stress, not to mention the financial burden caused by phone bills or computer rentals.

Going back to the line of the song, it is but natural for us to suffer from the loneliness that would even consume our day to day life when the one whom we share our love becomes separated by miles. But if we are purely committed to each other & the love shared has created respect for our partner, then distance, no matter how great it is, is never a hindrance nor a gap for that love to continuously bloom.

A month from now I will be going to this kind of relationship!! 

But we both know we can be stronger when the time comes.. It's not like I'm in another planet or something. lol !! though I know it's not easy either!!

"Distance to Love is like wind into fire. It extinguishes the small and inflames the great" -un

[Wednesday]

It's complicated but I believe that if 2 people love each other that much no distance can come between them. Along with love you also have to have,patience,communication,understanding,trust,and you have to take a little extra care to nurture it and see it grow. It can work. I've seen it happen=).

"There is no long distance about love, it always finds a way to bring hearts together no matter how many miles there are between them."

[MGH]

I think this kind of relationship will not work for me or fits me neither. Im very emotional when my love life is concern, im dependent type of person. Like in my case my husband wants to work in abroad, since i dont like the idea of long distance relationship I didnt allow him instead and I just told him to stay.

[maricel]

 i believe it can happen and it could last forever if you really trust each other,that is a test for you to pass,to survive .... love is the key... for me, I can be faithful and loyal and never play around,it is a matter of trust and how deep is your love and respect for the person
 you love... 

[dys]

It will be hard but as long as you can keep the love burning then it's ok. Just keep in touch and show your love even when apart. All you need is trust.

[tonette]

I'll experienced that when I'm in college to have a long distance relationship.   I'm studying here in Manila and he was in the province for 4 years.  We just see each other during vacation and through love letters , its hard but our relationship becomes strong. 

[gemma0928]

As much as possible I don't want a long distance love affair. I want my husband to be with me so that both of us can see how our children grow. I want us to be closer with each other.

[gemma0928]

As they say, you'll only realize one's worth if it isn't physically around you. With long distance relationship, this saying is very much into test and will tell you really if this person miles away is really the one meant for you. But of course, bear in mind that it takes two to tango...so, careful also.

[Nancy:)]

This is really hard. There are many temptations. Your feelings should be strong enough when your in this situation. It takes a lot of sacrifices. But it is all worth it for the one you love.

[marc17]

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP is the hardest thing ever...but for me,if there is enough LOVE, no distance is too far... no sacrifice  is too hard, and no time is too long.---DISTANCE can be overwhelming and unbearable most of the time but you should see it as a bump on the road to everlasting happiness with your partner. If you are into this kind of relationship,you should as well learn the importance of trust,respect and most of all forgiveness for these will close the gaps of separation that distance brings!!!---

[Angel Assassin]

It seems to me that when we grow a plant...we provide all the nutrition and the caring it needs on the early and vulnerable stages of its life. As it matures, more and more it becomes independent, and the more it can stand on its own. We do not for example leave a young plant unattended, we need to water it as regularly as the plant need, or else its growth will become stunted or worse, it will die. In here, we aren't sure exactly of the plants limits, but we don't allow chances, we don't test it for example if it's hard enough to resist bad weather. We provide the necessary protection. (Good) Communication is to love as water is to a young plant. Long distance relationship has to be compensated then with more communication. Save money for communication, for example, and do a regular visit, call, and write letters.

[winterking]

no matter how you want your relationship to work, lets accept the fact that at the back of your mind you are dubious of what happened when you are not together. there are two kinds of infidelity - one is sexual and the other one is emotional. if your partner committed either one of the two, would you still accept him/her like the way you did before?

 sorry to burst the bubbles of those hopefuls that love grows more when they are away from each other. Its a big crap. love becomes skeptic and eventually falls off unless both party are looking at one direction and exercising one goal.   Filipinos do really find ways to salvage the obvious failure and always find someone to stop them because they cant stop themselves from stepping the gas and continue what they are doing.

Hey Im not pessimist. just being real

[iAMHE]

give hope to the hopeless... 

although what you speak is reality, influence them to be positive in life.

 

[Angel Assassin]

More often than not, the great distance that separates two hearts would bring in tears, loneliness &, yes, even misunderstandings. But on the other hand this very distance would test the true strength of the love that bonds two individuals together.

I appreciate this point of view and I would like to point out that if the love does not have yet that strength you might lose it as a consequence. Increasing distance to increase love may not work sometimes. Remember that love brings two people together. The distance becomes very short, not to close for too much friction, but not too far to cause separation. The first thing one will lose in a distance relationship is information about the other - the day to day information. When one loses that, coordination becomes affected. By and by both of you will find that you aren't in synchrony anymore. The song of love have changed and so the dance steps do not complement anymore. There is one exception at least - if the separation is unintentional - that's the time when love remains and tested to the fullest. And even that sometimes collapses.

[winterking]

In addition to what you said, Time plays important role.

 I remember Monalisa smile. I remember how Julia Roberts narrates her died after her boyfriend decided to go to the war. She said. things changes after the war. they don't seems to recognize each other anymore. seems like they are strangers again.

Lets be real. I know it may sound as hurtful as it will be but accepting the concept doesn't mean you would end up having the same fate. Accepting is not the same with Embracing.

Some relationships are not meant to be marriage. and some marriage are meant to last forever. just remember love just go on and on and on.

I never stop dreaming of someday I would meet my friends and ex's because of the distance. But as far as I know what binds us together is the foundation we built in the yesteryear.



quote author=ribozyme link=topic=4176.msg54445#msg54445 date=1258830714]

More often than not, the great distance that separates two hearts would bring in tears, loneliness &, yes, even misunderstandings. But on the other hand this very distance would test the true strength of the love that bonds two individuals together.

I appreciate this point of view and I would like to point out that if the love does not have yet that strength you might lose it as a consequence. Increasing distance to increase love may not work sometimes. Remember that love brings two people together. The distance becomes very short, not to close for too much friction, but not too far to cause separation. The first thing one will lose in a distance relationship is information about the other - the day to day information. When one loses that, coordination becomes affected. By and by both of you will find that you aren't in synchrony anymore. The song of love have changed and so the dance steps do not complement anymore. There is one exception at least - if the separation is unintentional - that's the time when love remains and tested to the fullest. And even that sometimes collapses.
[/quote]

[SR71Blackbird]

I normally called this LDLA (Long Distance Love Affair). No matter how much I tried not to fall on such scheme, I always end up repeating it over and over again.  :  The stake is quite high and as a result, 8/10 never last at all.

Now, I am glad I am through with it. 

[amarantha]

Prayers help LDRs get through. I mean, even if you see each other everyday, its not a guarantee that you will end up together forever. Even if you're miles apart, just don't forget to let that person feel that you're with them, though not physically possible. Assurance, trust, respect and love... I consider my current relationship as LDR even if we see each other everyday. We're still 2 different individuals trying to grow as 1...

[XYBR0XYM0RON]

For me its weird, they're wasting time and money IF they know each other using the latest communication, they find their self in the end concious, not comfortable lthoguh they are talking over the phone and the net daily, there's a big difference if a person knows you personally, on the other side some of them got married by means of those communication.

[khaye08]

Its very difficult situation but as long as you love the person and you trust him. The relationship will be more stronger inspite of the distance.

[lasenzababy]

LDR is really not that easy...this situation is that last thing i want in my life.....but GOD tested my faith. He put me in this situation with my ex-boyfriend now my husband =)  then I proved to myself that LDR really works... Our relationship was purely built on trust and faith, faith with each other and faith with the LORD.

We should not underestimate our capability of loving a person, though really it's physically,emotionally and financially hard..hehehe! but if the love is genuine and pure, it will survive...maybe not for all and i'm glad and proud that we survived.

[Wednesday]

Awww, that's a great story Lasenzababy. Stories like yours keeeps me more motivated and have faith that long distance relationship is just a test of what true love is...

[Jun @ the gym]

LRD nowadays?...I don't think so. Even if your partners are on the otherside of the world, they are just a webcam away

[ferdz*]

this is very hard, but somehow people surpasses loneliness, thanks to the internet 

[iamart]

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. 

[eikcaj]

no no no for me... so stressful

[Mel]

LRD nowadays?...I don't think so. Even if your partners are on the otherside of the world, they are just a webcam away

Jun..it's LDR not LRD..haha!! ( I know it's typo )

I'm in this kind of relationship for 16 yrs now.
When couples have to endure a long distant relationship, whether planned or unplanned, it's necessary to remain focused on the end result: The future, your love and being together. Some people are forced to have long distant relationships because of a job move or some other necessity. Either way, it can work and prosper, with a little effort and patience. Don't isolate yourself. You should make a point to stay involved socially with friends and family.
Don't worry about time that you can't be together, it doesn't affect your love.
Don't think that your absence will cause infidelity, personal issues and personality differences is what causes one to stray.
Don't listen to people that say it will never work, actually work on this relationship just as you do others and strive to prove them wrong. 

[sLeekrick]

So near yet so FAR..

Thanks for reminding SkypE..

[Joanna]

I think this kind of relationship will work if and only if these are present: LOVE, TRUST, and EFFORTS to reach your partner--make her/him feel that you are there eventhough you're miles away.

[engr.deleganzo]

I already tried this kind of relationship and yes its very hard, because you might fall in-love to someone else. If you don?t really love your partner then I should say that your relationship wont go further. Because without love, no trust can be made and trust is the most important thing to this kind of relationship. And because of that love, I'm happy that we are still together.